Wow i havent written in like a month. I was in Maryland for like 10 days. Or really I was with my boyfriend because we werent always in maryland.  We went to Niagra falls and an amusment park called Kings Dominion too, among other stuff. It was an awesome time. I love being with him   Ive been working a lot the past few days which sucks. I just got 2 tickets to a death cab for cutie concert. I wonder who i will take..

Im really happy right now. Maybe its my music. I dont honestly see why emo music is said to be depressing.  If anything it just makes me calm and thoughtful. And happy. It makes me dance. Not like crazy dancing just kind of swaying or something. I really enjoy this music. Specifically Death Cab for Cutie.  I can feel it in my soul.  I guess thats dumb sounding, but its like ive finally found something to make me feel at peace. Whether Im moving or just sitting I can loose myself in this.  In the lyrics, in the sound, the beat, the meaning.  Ive never been a real music person but in this sound I can feel anything, sort of find myself.  Its not too loud like rock or rap. Its like hiding in a corner type of music or something, which I guess is why I relate to it.

Im just sort of sitting here, in between thoughts. I just saw a touching episode of My So Called Life.  I love that show. When it was over I went downstairs and cuddled with my mom for a little bit, ate a tomato then returned to my room.

Ive been feeling an overload of emotions lately, Im kinding of shaking from them now.  Everything is so confusing, Im lost.  Nothing can just be easy or simple. I feel like I have a cut inside of me and someone is pouring alcohol into it or something.  Im on the verge of tears all of the time. Im lonely and I want to be alone at the same time. I want to be independent, but its almost as if thats too much to ask for. Im going to go lose myself now.

12 Ways to Get To a Girls Heart:

1. Hugs from behind
2.Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her
4.Cuddle with her.
5.Dont force her to do ANYTHING
6.Write little notes.
7.Compliment her
8.When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Say I love you, and MEAN  it.
10. Brush the hair out of her eyes.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Love her with all of your heart.

I usually think lists like that are dumb, but I think this one is basically true. Of course thats not all thats important, but stuff like that totally helps. My boyfriend does most of those things. Hes basically perfect

I havent written in a few days or something, so I figured I would post something.

I work until closing tonight. Oh lots of fun.

I want to dye my hair again. or do something.  I hate the way my days go. I dont get to sleep until 4-6 am and then sleep until like 5.  Its seems Ive said this before. Nothing has changed. I miss my boyfriend. I miss having a reason to be awake in the day and to smile at night. It sucks, this distance crap. Not too much longer, though.  I hope he wants us as much as I do. Which is more then anything.

Im so hungry. My mom is always away and she gets home when Im at work.  And I was used to her always making food for me. So now I starve all day and all night and pick at whatever I can find when I get home. Man does this summer suck hardcore.

Life is lame.
Think happy thoughts.
Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell Mitchell

Sadly, I have returned home from visiting my boyfriend. I hate leaving. Its so depressing. I love being with him. And I love him. America and New York are so silly. It took so long getting home because everyone was going so insane with security, because of the London bomb. Where no one got hurt. Ugh.

I was three hours late to work.  I dont think my manager cared too much, luckilly.

My father got into a car accident the other day, no one was hurt but he totalled his car. Idiot.

So Im lonely again.  Lets set some goals to keep me focused :
-Get Mitchell cell phone
-Save to pay my own cell phone bill
-Work a lot and look for car
-Clean my room or something
-Stop eye from twitching
-Record shit on my tape recorder
-Get tapes for afore-mentioned tape recorder
-Solve mysteries
-Get some friends
-Buy Mitchell something pretty
-Play with Mitchell on xbox live
-Learn to play Manhunt, on xbox
-Get some dvds and dvd remote for said xbox
-Get some more goals

Meh. Its a start.